Single parenting sucks

My husband is away on business. For a week. God help me. This means I have to play Bad Cop AND Good Cop. It's just that this is extremely difficult for a soft-cock like me. After one staunch refusal to succumb to my toddler's demand for Peppa Pig/Play School/yoghurt/whatever is on my plate, I melt like a snowman in hell. Either it's that adorable face that I could just eat up, or it's the threat of a tantrum to challenge Hurricane Katrina. I just want peace. 

Tonight he refused to eat his dinner, preferring to stealthily raise the spoon to his mouth, look at me and then fling it across the room. He also refused to sit in his high chair or toddler chair, preferring to push the chair around the room like a shopping trolley. I am proud to say that Bad Cop stepped up and he did not get toast, or cheese or yoghurt as an alternative (she guiltily admits to past sins).

He also did not want to take a bath. We've recently had 'issues' with bathtime that have only just been resolved - for some reason for weeks he hated it and had to just be sponged down on the bathroom floor. Then, for no reason, the worm turned. Bathtime was fun again, hooray! So much fun that tantrums ensue on their conclusion. But not tonight. After dinner dramas he refused a bath.  He was still chanting “nom nom nom” indicating he was STARVING and I was a neglectful parent. I momentarily considered weakening and cracking out the cheese. Instead I bribed him in with the dummy – Bad Cop fail. I’d have skipped it but he was all gritty from the sandpit at daycare and a sandy crack does not make for a peaceful night (for either of us).

He’s asleep now and after mopping the floor I feel like I have earned the rest of night firmly planted on my ass cruising the net and comfort eating with some brain-draining reality TV for background noise.

He pulled everything out of my wallet a couple of days ago (and I have a MAMMOTH wallet, the size of a small suitcase into which every receipt, ticket, card and miscellaneous small object go). I shoved it all back into one compartment and have not tried to sort it back into order yet. I almost forgot about that.

Oh and I had a Cornetto for dinner the other night. Come back husby. Or I might end up with scurvy.